When family legends lead our lives
Updated: Feb 11
It all begins with a story.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, Mummy and Daddy, who did not know each other...
Each life starts with the story of an encounter, that triggers a series of events.
Children love to cuddle at night in their parents' arms and listen to their story, the story that tells where they come from.
Sometimes parents and grand-parents embellish events to make them more bearable, or intensify the drama so they last through time.
Words are never strong enough, metaphors are never powerful enough for the message to resist the passing of time.
You might know the grape vine game. In this game, a message is whispered in the ear of the neighbour, who does the same to the person sitting next to them, until the person at the end of the line speaks out the message, which of course has strayed a lot from the original one. In our families, things happen pretty much the same way. Each individual transforms the family story, and thus creates a legend where a few things are true and many are made up.
In every story there is a treasure, a message, a warning or a teaching that needs to be passed on to the next generations.
Our family legend exists to deeply anchor, on an emotional level, the information that the family subconscious judges to be important. What is more, those stories are told to children, who are emotionally very receptive, and that enables them to absorb the information very easily. It will be imprinted deep in the unconscious and will activate in very specific circumstances of their lives.
Our memory is like clay: everything is written into it thanks to emotions, and becomes imprinted in the subconscious forever.
This information will become crucial in our adult life and will express in the choices we make, especially in emotional crisis situations or in the presence of danger.
Each person creates their own legend.
Inside a family, each member will bring a part of the story, the one that matches their sensitivity, their position, and also their gender.
We can see that a girl will not have the same perception of the same story than a boy, because each will identify according to their gender.
The transmission of information will also depend on our position among our siblings.
Being number 1, 2, 3 or more, is of great importance, because we will resonate with ancestors who have the same position among their siblings.
Another element is the first name. If I have the same first name than an aunt, or a grand-mother, whether I like it or not, I will be connected to her.
By listening to the story that our parents tell us, we will identify with one or the other. We will notice quickly the hero or heroine, or we will understand which behaviour was the most beneficial.
While I was preparing this article, I watched a conference given by a German neuro-biologist ( Dr Gérald Hüther:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQ9i-xdruc) who explains very clearly that, as soon as 6 months old, a baby can understand the efficiency of a behaviour. At this age, if given the choice between two behaviours (help or aggressiveness), the child will choose to help. Six months later, the study shows that 20% of the children changed their choice. Their preference goes to the aggressive behaviour because they have observed in their surroundings, that it was the most efficient one. A child will imitate the winning behaviours of her surroundings.
When the child listens to the story of her family, she integrates the part of the story that matches the best her own instinct of survival, and she will imitate the behaviours of the character that she has identified as the hero or heroine.
This is how Family Legends impact our lives, without us knowing it, and lead our choices when we are faced with them.
Later, when the child has become an adult, she will pass down her version of the story to her children, so as to help them build their character and survive, which will also give meaning to the suffering of the ancestors. The ones that came before will not have suffered in vain; their experience is still valuable to their descendants. There is just a “tiny” problem. If the experience was right in the past, it is not valid anymore today.
How can we free oneself from those programs?
“What does not come up in consciousness comes back to us through our destiny”.
Carl Gustav Jung
Through all time, human beings have created techniques to free themselves from past bondages, traumas and subconscious programs.
The most recent processes have been brought to us, among other things, by psychoanalysis and what followed, like hypnosis, energetic and body-related techniques.
For about thirty years, the discoveries made by genetics made psychotherapists more attuned to the importance of emotional experiences that are passed down from subconscious to subconscious. From this, new psycho-therapeutic disciplines have been created.
Anne Ancelin Schützenberger is one of the pioneers in this field. She created a fascinating tool called the geno-sociogram, that creates links between logical sequences and symbolism, between recurring dates in the system, first names, occupations, and many other elements. Bringing those information to light triggers releasing awakenings.
I also discovered, more than 10 years ago, Marc Frechet's Memorised Biological Circuits, that reveal dozens of programs that are imprinted in our cells, in our subconscious, and that keep us prisoner of a repetition of often traumatic events.
The intention with which our parents have conceived us has a profound impact on our life. Later, we will unconsciously make choices that will give meaning to the conscious or unconscious project that emanated from our conception.
All this is only the beginning of a story of identity cycles, autonomy, loyalty, etc. The awareness of those memorised cellular biological cycles, of those unconscious bonds...leads to the cancellation of those negative memories from our brains.
In this movement, Bert Hellinger did a magnificent job by developing a very intuitive and powerful approach: Family andOrganisation Systemic Constellations. This technique stems from psychodrama and enables the unblocking of emotional memories that hamper somebody's life, through the “staging” of the family system. What is great is that one does not need a lot of information to access the subconscious of the system. If it feels in good hands and surrounded by love and respect, it will open up and free blocked emotions, and move towards a new balance, for the greater good of the consultant.
Alejandro Jodorowsky has also developed an approach that frees memories that have been crystallized for generations: Metagenealogy. From his work, I use the psycho-magical approach, that I find very liberating. Magical rituals are powerful tools to free us from limiting programs that constrain us and prevent us from being who we are.
What if you could hit RESET?
What would it change in your life?
If you could put down the burdens of your ancestors
If you could stop being loyal to sufferings that do not exist anymore?
If you could unbound from secrets that control your life, without you knowing it?
If you could take back the control of your own life and create the life that your souls yearns for?
Would you like to take your life back in your own hands?
Would you like to learn this powerful process from your home?
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Translated by Marianne Souliez